Alchemy Within

There was a time in my life when I was really struggling. I would wake up with tears in my eyes, feeling like I was in constant survival mode. During that time, I came across these words:

“If I bring forth what is inside me, what I bring forth will save me.”

I knew the words were true, but I didn’t understand them yet. The thing that saved me was learning to fully see and love myself.

For years, I had been searching for something in other people—validation, acceptance, to be truly seen. But I realized I was really searching for myself.

This painting originally started as “Deeper Than the Surface.” I wanted people to see that there was more to me than what they could see or assume. But somewhere along the way, I realized that I was the one who needed to look deeper.

To see all of my layers. To accept them. To love them. The pain, the joy, the parts I understand and the parts I don’t. The things I once called flaws that I now see as quirks and unique things that make me, me.

That became my own process of alchemy: turning pain, shame, grief, and difficult experiences into something beautiful. Into art. Into a deeper understanding and acceptance of who I am. Into loving all parts of me.

I think we spend so much of our lives looking outside of ourselves for what we need. I’ve come to believe that so much of what we’re searching for is already within us. We just have to have the courage to look, really see ourselves, knowing that beings from above are there to remind us who we are, help us become all that we were meant to become, and guide us toward loving others as fully as we’ve learned to love ourselves.

That is my Alchemy Within.